reguysnight

New Eva Mendes Sighting

2010-08-03T15:34:00.001-07:00

We found it:

Hot Chick Friday: Rock Star Edition

2010-07-30T11:58:00.001-07:00

Heather Locklear

Bon Jovi

The Link Dump (7-23-10)

2010-07-23T16:56:00.000-07:00

So, here are the top four things I saw on the Internet recently:

1. 27bslash6 - The posts on this blog are pretty hilarious. I recommend going through them from the beginning when and if you have the time. But, the most recent post is by far the funniest thing I have read on the Internet this year. For new readers, the only set up you need is that the writer is a super sarcastic graphic designer, he doesn't like cats, he pisses off his friend Steven all the time: Missing Missy.

2. YouTube - A heckler and a comedian. Nothing too original, but pretty funny (45sec): Comic Owns Heckler, Wins Back Crowd.

3. Don't Even Reply- I'm sure you're all familiar with this site. This post had nice attention to detail: Car Repair Invoice.

4. Facebook - Maybe not laugh-out-loud funny, but: This picture.

Casting the Spider-Man movie...in the 80's

2010-07-09T23:42:00.000-07:00

So back in the day when I used to get Wizard: The Comics Magazine in the mail, they did an article on who they would cast in a Spider-Man movie. Their pick for Peter Parker: John Cusack. For some reason, I thought about that article as I watched Say Anything the other night and decided to cast the Spider-Man movie if it were being made in the 80's:

Peter Parker/Spider-Man- John Cusack. If it aint broke, don't fix it. This pick is perfect. Cusack basically invented the high school outcast in 80's movies.

"I may look like a dork, but we both know I pulled ridiculous ass back in the day..."

Mary Jane Watson- Lea Thompson. She's one sexy ginger and we already know that she's not afraid to fuck an animal-themed superhero on screen.

"Wait, I do WHAT in Howard the Duck?"

Gwen Stacy- Jennifer Jason Leigh. Blonde girl-next-door? Check and check.

"You've never seen Single White Female? Perfect!"

Harry Osborne- James Spader. Played the ultimate rich douchebag in Pretty in Pink.

"Go fuck yourself."

Norman Osborne/Green Goblin- Michael Douglas. Machiavellian industrialist who will stop at nothing to achieve his goals? Gordon Gekko to the rescue.

"I just impregnated your girlfriend...with my eyes."

J. Jonah Jameson- James Tolkan. You may not recognize the name, but you'll recognize him as the badass who played every character in the 80's that did not take any shit.

"I'll hit you so hard you'll get Parkinson's!"

Flash Thompson- Stereotypical 80's bully? Billy "Mother-fuckin!" Zabka.

Would you fuck with someone man enough to dress like this?

Aunt May- Jessica Tandy. A kindly widow with some serious steel in her spine? Sounds like a job for the late Miss Daisy.

I'll put you in a cocoon, you sexy bitch...

Uncle Ben- Wilford Brimley. Nobody could play kindly Uncle Ben better than the Quaker Oatmeal guy.

Well at least he won't die of dia-beetus...

Miami Vice

2010-07-07T00:01:00.000-07:00

I submitted a bunch of photoshops for a contest about German soccer coach Joachim Low to the Guardian and one got selected for a gallery. Here are my two submissions:

While searching for Miami Vice source photos I came upon the creepiness that is Miami-Vice.org, a web forum for Vice fanatics, here is a most bewitching pic from a Vice Forum Member:

Also came across this pic of Don Johnson's daughter. ehhh, looks like the good looks didn't run in the fam:

Conan The Barbarian The Musical

2010-06-30T20:21:00.001-07:00

This would be a lot funnier if the dude could do a better impersonation.

Dragging Soccer into the 20th Century

2010-06-29T07:00:00.000-07:00

For the 1.5 of youse that are into the World Cup, a column I wrote on the crappy calls from Sunday posted at EPLTalk.com.

Also, use your imagination to guess the convo between Slick Willie and Mickey Bigmouth. Some tall tail tales.

MMA: Greatest Heavyweight Update

2010-06-27T12:26:00.000-07:00

MMA: GREATEST HEAVYWEIGHT UPDATE

Last night, my boy, Fabricio Werdum from Marina del Rey, CA shocked the world and beat the greatest MMA fighter of all time, Fedor Emelianenko. Prior to last night, Fedor had never legitimately been beaten with 31 straight wins. Early in the fight, Fedor came out swinging. He landed a great left that supposedly rocked Werdum as he fell to the ground. Fedor rushed in for the kill throwing a blitz of punches. Werdum took advantage and used his jiu jitzu to put Fedor in a triangle choke to end the fight at 1:07 in the first round. I say "supposedly" because this was a classic jiu jitzu strategy. Werdum needed to bate the Last Emperor into putting his guard down. This was an ingenious strategy and Werdum definitely will be able to tell his grandkids that he accomplished the impossible.

The aftermath of this fight should have several interesting effects that will ripple through the heavyweight division:

1. Overall Heavyweight Rankings: Lesnar vs. Carwin is July 3rd at UFC 116. Fedor lost to a top 10 fighter. This has to push Fedor out of the #1 spot. Does this make him #2? Where does Werdum fit into the picture? I am sure that we will hear quotes from Dana White saying "I told you so." I am sure that when Lesnar gets moved to the #1 spot in the heavyweight division, the UFC will benefit in its promotion of UFC 116.

2. Fedor's Historical Career is really unaffected overall. One loss will not admonish an amazing career of wins over the who's who of fighters over the last 10 years. He is still the greatest fighter in the history of the sport. In many ways, a loss makes him human and makes for a great story for any future fights he does.

3. Strikeforce: This loss basically destroys Strikeforce. Strikeforce was assuredly praying for a Fedor vs. Overeem championship fight. Now they will have to do a Werdum vs. Fedor fight which won't sell nearly as well. More importantly, Fedor still has one more fight on his contract with Strikeforce. Who will he fight now? Strikeforce has only one mega fighter in its roster and his story has been squashed by a loss.

4. UFC and Fedor: The relations between Fedor, M-1 Global, and the UFC have been tenuous at best. Dana has thrown the book at Fedor to get him to fight in the UFC. Negotiations have always failed as M-1 has insisted on co-promotion of the event, a non-negotiable for the UFC. Dana has repeatedly called Vadim Finkelstein and his crew a "bunch of crazy Russians." M-1's presence in MMA is crushed by this loss. Their bargaining chips are crushed. Two things could happen out of this loss, 1. Fedor could retire after finishing out his contract with Strikeforce or 2. Fedor may look to redeem his presence as the greatest fighter in the history of the sport by actually fighting the best fighters. To do that, he will need to fight in the UFC and play ball. The UFC will never co-promote. Will Fedor bend on this to restore his reputation and retire at the top? I hope Dana jumps on this opportunity.

For a different view, on the aftermath, check out the Bloodyelbow analysis.

REFEREE KIM WINSLOW:

On a side note, the fight between Cyborg and Finney was a disgrace. To me, other than the cheesy theatrics, this is the main difference between Strikeforce and the UFC. The UFC really does care about the safety and health of their fighters. The reffing of Kim Winslow definitely makes her the worst referee in MMA. Steve Mazzzagatti can now rest at night, because this bitch sucks. In the fight, Finney could not intelligently defend herself early in the first round and Cyborg was allowed to just pound her for another full round (see picture). These are the strikes that have long term effects on the fighters.

Just as annoyingly, Winslow kept asking Cyborg "Do you want me to make her get up?" What the fuck?! When has a fighter ever had the choice of where their opponent gets to fight? Winslow should be fired. Unbelievable display of ineptitude. Winslow is possibly the ugliest human being I have ever seen, perhaps she was beaten in the face too many times with a bat. Fuck her.

Hot Chick Friday - Broken Lizard Edition

2010-06-25T10:26:00.000-07:00

Say what you will about the varying quality of the Broken Lizard joints, but they know how to cast their females:

First (and some would say the best) is Ursula from Super Troopers:

She'll butter your bread...

For a movie that was primarily about tits and beer, Beerfest had a surprising lack of female characters:

Landfill's wife was a looker though, and we all know she likes it doggie style!

And of course, who could forget the Swedish team:

The imbred cousin of the Broken Lizard films, Club Dread, did bring some ladies to the table in the form of the buff and beautiful Brittany Daniels...

...and sexy Jordan Ladd as Penelope, who obviously helped her career by showing some skin.

Undercover sex bomb Cobie Smulders brought a girl next door charm to the newest Lizard concoction, Slammin' Salmon...

...and who could forget April Bowlby as ballerina/waitress Mia. I think we can all agree she looks better without horrible, disfiguring burns. I wouldn't mind taking a look at her Guy Medrapedes.

Last, but certainly not least, we have nerd-favorite cameo artist Oliva Munn.

No Fat Chicks

2010-06-25T08:00:00.000-07:00

Stupid Animal Videos: Part 1

2010-06-22T16:20:00.000-07:00

STUPID ANIMAL VIDEOS: PART 1

Once or twice a week, when I am having a shitty day, I gravitate to youtube and look for some stupid animal videos. They really are stupid, but man they make me happy. I am like the monkey toy with the chimes, or a dolphin clapping. Just imagine me watching some of these videos and making seal noises ... "Errr err errr err."

I have decided to make a regular column anytime I see a video of A. an animal; B. it's stupid; and C. it made me laugh. Also, the blog has kinda gone stale since it was turned into a book, but check out Fuck You, Penguin for a regular cup of stupid animal glee as well.

This week's first post comes from Socialtimes.com. If this video doesn't make you happy, kill yourself:

This video should not make you laugh, but it has a kitten in it:

And finally, last but not least ... a duck mascot in a dance battle:

MMA: Greatest Heavyweight

2010-06-22T10:21:00.000-07:00

MMA: Greatest Heavyweight

MMA Junkie ran a poll of their readers and asked "Who's the best heavyweight fighter in MMA today?" As you can see in the picture, the answer was overwhelmingly for Fedor Emelianenko who many argue is the greatest MMA fighter of all time. I think it is an interesting question and it received a lot of great responses for Fedor or Lesnar. Below is my response:

remeadial on Jun 22, 2010 at 1:17 pm ET

.....

"Many of the more astute comments surround who has fought whom. I don't think this is the issue at hand. Brock has fought some good guys, Fedor has fought just about everyone. There is no question who has a deeper set of wins to claim greatest LIVING heavyweight. That being said, the issue is who is the greatest CURRENT heavyweight.

For Fedor, beating Brett Rogers does not help the argument, nor will beating Werdum. The fact that this fight is not against Overeem shows Fedor is intelligently eeking out some remaining fights that provide the greatest paycheck for the least amount of damage. If Werdum wins, it will be by submission most likely. Fedor loses a little face, but won't go to the hospital.

For Lesnar, I can understand the argument he is the greatest CURRENT heavyweight. He is fighting the best guys [and winning] decisively. However, I think people are more impressed with his athleticism and inhumanly large size and agility [than his fighting skill]. That to me does not a legend make. The wrestling lay and pray method works for Lesnar because of this size. But no one on this blog will argue he compares to Fedor in terms of boxing ability or martial arts skill. He was basically going through boxing 101 just a couple of years ago. His lack of skill in the ring is testament to his ankle lock loss to Mir.

This leads to Carwin. Carwin has a 12-0 record and has won every fight decisively by KO, TKO, or submission. He has not fought all top caliber fighters on that road, but has an impressive win over Mir (so does Lesnar) and Gonzaga. This to me makes the argument weak for greatest current fighter. However, if he beats Lesnar, which I am 100% sure he will, there will be no question for me. He will be the greatest current fighter. He has all the wrestling skill of Lesnar, greater punching power (no question), and has a ground game that is deeper than just a wrestling pin. Come talk to me in 10 years when he is 31-0 and we'll have a discussion about whether he is better than Fedor was.

.... The heavyweight division is only going to get deeper and more guys with Lesnar's athleticism will be entering the mix. I hope more of them fit the mold of a Fedor (actual martial arts skill and technique) than that of Lesnar (wrestling pin to the cage method)."

MMA Weekly: Aikido Edition

2010-06-20T20:04:00.000-07:00

MMA WEEKLY: AIKIDO EDITION

This article focuses on two items of MMA discussion: 1. The TUF 11 results; and 2. The badass fact that Anderson Silva (My favorite fighter) is actually training with Steven Seagal.

TUF 11 RESULTS:
Well kids, I was 40% on the night for TUF again. That brings my overall record to 8 out of 13. 62% still ain't bad. Matt Hamill edged out Jardine (wrong), Chris the dooooosh Leben knocked out Simpson (wrong), Siver eeked out a decision over Fisher (wrong), McGee submitted McCray (right), and Attonito submitted Yager (right).

There were a couple of interesting things to discuss after the fight. Matt Hamill had a clear case of staff infection on his back. How was he cleared to fight? Staff is highly contagious and deadly. Jardine will be VERY lucky if he comes out of that fight without the disease. This tells me that Keith Kaiser is starting to feel the pressure of money. No right-minded doc would clear someone with that bad of a case of staff otherwise. The second controversial issue was when Jardine poked Hamill's eye in the second round. Granted, it was a bad poke, but Jardine clearly was not doing it on purpose. Was a point deduction really merited? This was the first time I had seen a point deducted on the first eye poke. Shouldn't we have consistent rulings? Finally, the final score of the fight, one judge ruling 30-27, the next 29-28, and the last 28-28. How could any judge say that Hamill won all three rounds? How can they all get different scores? Rubbish.

ANDERSON SILVA TRAINING WITH STEVEN SEAGAL:

This is SOOOOOOOOOOO COOL. In MMA, Aikido is a non-existent martial art. Aikido as a martial science is really created almost like an executive course for martial artists. In MMA, the Muy Thai / BJJ combo or the Wrestling / Boxing combo are really the lifeblood of the sport right now. There are a few masters mixing in some other sports like Judo and Karate, but these are few and far between. That is why Anderson Silva really is one of the last remaining martial artists in the sport. Greg Jackson continues to pump out wrestlers, Brazil has more than its share of BJJ black belts. Silva is far and above the best muy thai fighter in MMA right now. He has since gotten a black belt in BJJ under the Nogueira brothers. For most fighters, that would be more than enough to do well in the sport. However, Silva continues to make himself more dynamic by adding Capoeira and now Aikido to his already impressive arsenal. Below is a video of him training at Blackhouse with Steven Seagal.

Not too many people know this, but Seagal is a 7th degree black belt in Aikido. Given all of the crap that Silva is taking on a regular basis from Chael Sonnen, this video may be a goofy response to fuck with the guy. That being said, there are some powerful moves in Aikido that the sport would benefit from. Aikido uses a lot of wrist lock techniques and throws. The throws are based on the opponents momentum. The founder of Aikido, Morihei Ueshiba, was about a 100 lbs, and there are several videos of him literally throwing men across rooms.

In the video above, Seagal shows Anderson some interesting techniques involving wrist and elbow locks as well as a submission move involving pressing in the nose at the proper degree. In MMA, there are many cases where the offensive fighter has the defensive fighters back and goes for the predictable guillotine choke. Why not place their hands under the guys nose and press in? When the fighter is attempting a kimura from side control, why not push the thumbs into the elbow joint? This video shows the danger of the sport not having a paradigm shift. Fighters are being churned out like a bad hamburger at McDonalds. Not surprisingly, the fighters who dominate the sport were fighting before the UFC was popular. I hope that other fighters watch Silva and try to mimic his efforts, they could all benefit from a more well rounded knowledge of martial arts.

Hot Chick Friday: Lakers

2010-06-18T08:00:00.000-07:00

Jack's daughter, Lorraine Nicholson

MMA Weekly: TUF 11 Finale

2010-06-16T17:36:00.000-07:00

MMA Weekly: TUF 11 Finale

The Ultimate Fighter Season 11 is almost over. Saturday marks the end of a pretty damn good season overall. This season did not have the drama of TUF 10 and then the premature ejaculation of the Rampage Rashad disaster and then the maturation of the eventual fight and a nice ejaculation after.

TUF 11 did have its share of delicious drama with Tito Ortiz backing out at the end. Truthfully, that was really unfortunate because his replacement, Rich Franklin is a much better fighter. As I predicted, Rich Franklin beat Chuck. What I didn't predict however was Franklin beating Chuck by KO in the first round. Chuck's chin was basically blown on and he fell like a tree. Had Chuck beat Tito, we would be seeing him again. Unfortunately, he is definitely, definitely retired this time.

Betting wise, UFC 115 was not my night, nor was it the UFC's with possibly the lowest PPV buy rate in years. I called Mirko Cro Cop to beat Pat Barry and he did. He did so by TKO, not decision. That being said, I recently met Pat Barry at the e3 Entertainment Conference and he was as nice a guy in person as he is on television. He made it a point to talk to me and introduced me to Jens Pulver as well! I was as giddy as a school girl. Pat, sorry I bet against you, never again!

The Thiago fight and the Griffin fight I blew it on. Evan Dunham and Martin Kampmann both fought excellent fights. Kampmann was so impressive that I think he is a real contender if Anderson Silva vacates the belt to move up a class.

On to the TUF 11 Finale ... Here are ALL of the fights and their lines along with my picks below:

Court McGee (-180) vs. Kris McCray (+175) - Right on. 3 rounds, Court with a unanimous decision.
Matt Hamill (-138) vs. Keith Jardine (+125) - Silliness. Jardine 3 rounds.
Aaron Simpson (-334) vs. Chris Leben (+292) - Who is Aaron Simpson? Does not matter. Chris Leben is the biggest dooooosh bag in MMA. I would pick my mom over him. I am calling Simpson by peeing on Leben's head.
Spencer Fisher (-175) vs. Dennis Siver (+163) - Fisher all the way. One of the best stand up fighters in MMA.
Jamie Yager (-105) vs. Rich Attonito (+105) - Rich Attonito is not that good. Jamie Yager has talent. Rich Attonito is not a quitter. Yager is for sure. If Rich can draw a little blood look for Yager to quit like a pussy. TKO 2nd round. Honestly, I don't know why they chose Rich for this fight. It should have been Kyacey Uscola who called Yager out.

John Gunderson (-245) vs. Mark Holst (+285)
Brad Tavares (-205) vs. Seth Baczynski (+200): n dra
Kyle Noke (-185) vs. Josh Bryant (+170)
Chris Camozzi (-125) vs. James Hammortree (even)
Travis Browne (-185) vs. James McSweeney (+155)

10 Observations about The Adventures of Ford Fairlane

2010-06-16T00:11:00.000-07:00

So I'm channel surfing the other night, silently cursing the end of the television season, when I come across The Adventures of Ford Fairlane, starring Andrew Dice Clay. The movie is directed by Renny Harlin of Cliffhanger and Die Hard 2 fame; however, this movie is closer to his work on Cutthroat Island.

Hey asshole, Ferris Bueller wants his vest back.

Anyway, here are 10 things I noticed while watching:

10. Apparently all 90's movies were required to have a kid sidekick with daddy issues.

Sometimes they're the same kid!

9. You can accept a rock star's spare junk in exchange for detective services, but still afford a house on the beach.

8. Lauren Holly is not believable as the "pretty-ugly" assistant that Fairlane doesn't notice until the end of the movie.

"Don't look, she's hideous!"

7. Anytime Wayne Newton shows up in a movie, he plays a shady fucker.

6. Robert Englund is a creepy bastard even without the Freddy makeup.

5. Ed O'Neill's attempted transition to movies in the 90's was pretty rough.

"You're a loose cannon, Fairlane!"

4. Yelling "Oh!" after every joke does not make them funny.

3. Apparently real men drink Zambuca Milkshakes.

2. Ford Fairlane is basically a beta-version of Ace Ventura: He's a "Rock 'N' Roll Detective" with weird hair and clothes, both movies have a cameo by Tone Loc, and he walks around spouting catch phrases ("UN-believable!" "Clint Eastwood? I fucked him!")

1. Apparently you can be a complete douchenozzle and still get to have a threesome with twins.

Ford Fairlane: Ladies man.

SHE'S TRIED EVERYTHING!

2010-06-15T08:00:00.000-07:00

Bars. AND clubs.

It's all over now, may as well buy the rickety shotgun house by the freeway, fill it with stray cats and start knitting socks for the nieces and nephews.

BACK OFF!

2010-06-14T08:00:00.000-07:00

Spotted by your boy in Santa Monica on Sunday

Hot Chick Friday: International Football Edition

2010-06-11T15:55:00.000-07:00

Is soccer really that boring?

the ring 4.

from the excellent whoateallthepies.tv

10 Rules of Modern Family

2010-06-08T22:32:00.000-07:00

10. Just because they look like jailbait, doesn't mean they are.

This guy knows...

9. Never come between a man and his dog butler.

8. It's easier to serenade your girlfriend by holding up an iPod than a boombox.

7. A fake mustache DOES make you look cool.

6. You have to get old. She doesn't have to get fat.

5. Never fuck with a large gay man in a clown costume.

4. Women are strangely aroused by a British speaker salesman.

Pictured: Clive Bixby, ladies man.

3. Always make sure you know who you're bumping asses with in a locker room.

2. When on vacation, order your drinks with an extra-long straw so you don't accidentally do a sit-up when you take a sip.

1. If you pay your dues in your past life, you get to nail a hot Columbian chick in your next one.

How do you say "upgrade" in Spanish?

MMA Weekly: UFC 115 Predictions

2010-06-08T16:11:00.000-07:00

MMA Weekly: UFC 115 Predictions:

UFC 115 is almost here (June 12 in Vancouver, BC) and the excitement is .... non-existent. After UFC 114, there just was no room for media hype, drama, or any buildup. UFC 114 was like a teenage boy seeing his first boob, spent. Now the next opportunity to see a boob arises and there just is nothing left.

What is most disappointing about this UFC is that the original fight, Chuck Liddell vs. Tito Ortiz had all of the drama and hype necessary for a big PPV, but Tito backed out. Filling in with Rich Franklin is just too little too late. That being said, strip all of the hype and drama out of a fight with Tito Ortiz and what you actually have is a BETTER fight. No one actually believed that Ortiz would win given he has lost to Liddell twice already. Liddell was a large favorite. Now against Franklin, he is actually a pretty even match or even a slight underdog. Rich Franklin is a phenomenal fighter and would be a great notch on Liddell's belt of knockouts.

So here are the picks (you will remember that I was 4/4 at UFC 114):

UFC 115 FIGHTS (TO WATCH)

Liddell vs. Franklin: This fight has two questions surrounding it as far as I can see ... 1. How many marbles are left in Liddell's brain? After a few crazy knockouts, he has definitely shown signs that he may not be all there. On TUF 11, there is a click of him basically blanking out for a second. 2. What is Franklin's motivation? He hasn't fought in a while and was brought in late for this fight. Liddell is definitely motivated to kill. Franklin may just need another check to make this month's rent. That being said, Franklin is a tremendous fighter and knows how to evade the hammerfist. I see Franklin winning this one by split decision.

Mirko Filipovic vs. Pat Barry: Cro cop is a God. An old God, but a God. Barry is a wannabe with crazy power. Cro cop is old, but is tough to bet against. I will have to go with Cro cop here by unanimous decision.

Paul Thiago vs. Martin Kampmann: This is the fight to watch. Both of these guys are highly underrated, and up and coming fighters. Thiago's last two wins are over Jacob Volkmann and Mike Swick. Mike Swick is a badass and Thiago choked him out. Kampmann suffered a crazy knockout to Paul Daley, but otherwise has fought the who's who of the welterweight division. Look for Kampmann to stand and Thiago to try to bring this one to the ground. If Thiago can choke out Swick, I have to go with him. Look for Thiago to submit Kampmann in the second. Let's get crazy here, I am going to call it by Rear Naked Choke.

Tyson Griffin vs. Evan Dunham: This is the second fight to watch. This is a prelim fight that will be aired on Spike TV. Tyson Griffin is 14-2 and has fought some incredible guys, Evan Dunham is 10-0 and is coming off of a tough win over Efrain Escudero. Here I have to give the advantage to strength and Tyson Griffin is a monster tiny man. His legs are like tree trunks. That being said, 7 of his last 8 fights have went to decision. His last fight however was a KO to Hermes Franca at UFC 103. If Griffin can fight off ring rust, look for a lay and pray decision win.

Guy's Night Jeopardy

2010-06-07T20:58:00.000-07:00

Single Jeopardy:

Double Jeopardy:

Final Jeopardy:
Category - White Russian's Sister. Your Wager?

Hot or Not: Chick Friday

2010-06-04T11:09:00.001-07:00

Can you get past the absolutely horrendous personality and see the awesome body that lies beneath?

Megan Fox, sans airbrushing and make-up. Still super hot? Or just regular hot?

Lindsay: Hot or Not now?

Friday Awesomeness

2010-06-04T08:00:00.000-07:00

I scanned these in from a book of photographs from the LA Times. As is typical of the LA Times, there is great content but it is presented in an incredibly janky package, so these scans didn't come out so great because the book was so cheap.

Behind Every Great NBA Team Are The Cheerleaders

2010-06-03T17:50:00.000-07:00

Here we are just moments before the start of the 2009-2010 NBA Finals and after the bets have been placed, I’m going to let you in on a guaranteed way to pick a winner in the NBA. The simple answer is talent. Talent on the cheerleading squads. So without further ado, my breakdown of each teams respective squads:

The Laker Girls: Everyone seems to equate the Laker Girls with the par excellence of female talent in the sporting world, but a simple link can dispel that myth: http://www.nba.com/lakers/community/0910fitforlife_lg.html. All but a few fall in the good from afar, but far from good category. (I’m sure they all have stellar personalities though.) Let’s face it, the best the Laker Girls have to offer wouldn’t crack the Top 5 of the Celtic Girls. Also, something to note about the Laker Girls, most of their profile shots give off a bit of a cougar vibe. Good for a MILF, not so great in a cheerleader

The Celtic Girls: Bringing and odd combination of trashy Catholic schoolgirl and athletic prowess, most have a certain indefinable attractiveness: http://www.nba.com/celtics/dancers/bios/. The long, cold winters of New England haven’t hampered any of the Celtic Girls, as all of them are sporting a Jersey Shore tan. Ashley, Jenna and Meghan easily outclass the best that the Laker Girls have to offer: At the end of the day, I’ve predicted the Celtics to win in 6, anything I can find to support that guess will make it on here.

Jiu Jitsu

2010-06-03T17:14:00.000-07:00

iRon

2010-06-03T16:47:00.001-07:00

Transcribed: June 3, 1692.

In your time, this gadget is going to be all the rage among women-folk.

Sincerely,

Cpt. Beau Ascot
Imperial Rebel Cruise Fleet

The 80's are Definitely Back: Lakers-Celtics Hoop it Up For the Grandest Prize in Pro Baskets

2010-06-02T08:00:00.000-07:00

The closest the Knicks are getting to the playoffs.

Lamar, you have chosen........poorly.
------
First, lamentations from the two Suns fans in the crew:
------
Begrudgingly, I have this to say: The officiating was fair. The Lakers are a superior team. While I still detest Artest and Fisher, I believe that Gasol and Kobe and Odom are the strongest threesome in the NBA. Kobe, while a complete asshole, is the 2nd greatest offensive player of all time. He can shoot better with a hand in his face than anybody in the league. Arguably, better than Jordan.

I am saying Lakers in 7.
-THE KING OF THE 80's aka THE GREATEST POINT GUARD IN KOMODO M.F.'N DRAGON HISTORY
-----
Sad, but true. This might have been the Suns' best shot for a while. Breaks the heart.
-"THUNDER" REX VOLCANOE
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Lakers are out for revenge. Lakers will take first two games at Staple Center, one game at the Garden (probably the 2nd game) and one game back at Staples. Lakers in 6.
-CAPTAIN BEAU 'CHERRYPICKIN' ASCOT

----
Two years ago, the Celtics were clearly the better team, but this year the two seem evenly matched: the Lakers won at Boston and the Celtics won at LA. Then again, the Celtics have played extremely well in the playoffs so far (taking down the Cavs and the Magic) despite looking pretty mediocre during much of the season (4th in the East). The Celtics took a beating from the Magic and are looking worse for the wear (concussions, knee surgeries and back spasms). If the Celtics can stay healthy and Perkins doesn't get another T and get suspended, they have a chance. The Lakers, on the other hand, have been fairly solid throughout (1st in the West), although they did falter a bit against the Thunder. I think Artest is going to make Pierce look fat and slow (versus being the finals MVP in 08). Lakers also have home court advantage. Lakers in 7.
-RAY "NOT ALLEN"
----
Don't forget that Kobe didn't play in the game the Lakers lost in Boston.

Plus, KG is a shell of his former self from the 2008 series. Even though Rondo is much better than 2008, the Lakers have proven that they can beat teams with amazing guards (Westbrook, Deron Williams, and Nash). Lakers in 6.
-THE CLOSER AKA DAVE THE 2ND GREATEST FREE-THROW SHOOTER IN YANKEE DOODLE HISTORY
----
Celtics in 7. Larry Bird conquered that series, his ghost lives on. Also, fuck Kobe.
-THE WHITE RUSSIAN AKA FEAR THE DEER
----
At the 1: Fisher vs. Rondo - If Fisher keeps draining threes, he can keep pace with Rondo for offensive output. The Laker’s length will cause problems for Rondo if he thinks he can drive at will like he did against the Magic (avoiding Howard is much easier than avoiding Gasol-Bynum-Odom). On the defensive end, Fisher is a charge taking machine, but I don’t see him getting that many charges against a Boston team that will settle for the pull-up jumper when the lane gets congested. Rondo isn’t a lock down defender by any means, but the C’s are the best help defense team in the league and will be able to rotate in time.

Advantage: Celtics

Bench at the 1: Farmar vs. Robinson - Farmar can hit the clutch 3, but Robinson can come through with the clutch game.

Advantage: Even

At the 2: Bryant vs. Allen - If Kobe doesn’t already have the early stages of scoliosis, he soon will. He carried Lakers through Thunder and Suns series. His circus shots aside, he will live and die by his three point shot. No one on the C’s can guard him on the perimeter and have the speed to cover him should he choose to drive. Allen will always be able to knock down the open jumper, but I think Gasol is fast enough to make it out to the perimeter when the C’s run their high-center screen. An open jumper is one thing, a shot under pressure with one of the ugliest men in sports running at you is another matter.

Advantage: Lakers

Bench at the 2: Vujacic vs. Allen - If the Allen of the Cavs series shows up, this is no contest. On the other hand, if the 2008 Vujacic shows up this becomes a dead heat. As a side note, Bryant and Ray Allen played 40 minutes a game due to almost no foul trouble, the bench at this position may not be a factor at all.

Advantage: Even.

At the 3/4: Artest/Gasol/Odom vs. Garnett/Davis/Wallace - In terms of offensive output, there is no contest here. Aside from a couple of games where they played out of their minds, Davis in Game 3 Orlando, and, Wallace in Game 5 Orlando, have very little offensive impact. Garnett has been quiet but consistent, possibly showing his age and the condition of his knees. Gasol and Odom on the other hand can consistently put up enough numbers to swing a game, with Artest occasionally chiming in.

On the defensive end, Garnett/Davis/Wallace compensate for their lack of offensive output. Davis and Wallace can play defense as physical as anyone in the league (when Wallace is motivate and Davis isn’t seeing stars or the refs making a “T“ sign with their hands). Artest isn’t the lockdown defender he used to be, but he can still cause trouble for most offensive sets and still has the speed and agility to cover the 2 when needed. Gasol and Odom are competent and rarely caught out of position on D and can be counted on to provide decent help defense.

Advantage: Even.

At the 5: Bynum vs. Perkins - The story here is Bynum’s knee and his lack of mobility against Perkins whose only weakness on defense is a slight lack of speed. Bynum, who was once thought to have the potential of Dwight Howard, hasn’t lived up to expectations. If Bynum’s knee limits his minutes and Perkins is left available to cover Gasol or Odom, that dramatically changes the effectiveness of LA’s swingmen. On the offensive end, both players have had comparable results with Bynum being more consistent.

Advantage: Celtics

X-Factors

Home Court: Lakers

Rest: Celtics (by one day, which for a team their age can make a difference between night and day)

Momentum: Even

By my count, that puts the Celtics up 3-2, so Imma have to go with the Cs in 6.
-DREW LITRE AKA CHARLES COIFLEY

MMA: UFC 114 Post Fight Analysis

2010-06-01T17:20:00.000-07:00

Here are the main topics in MMA:

UFC 114 POST-FIGHT ANALYSIS:UFC 114 is over, the hype has died down, the ashes are floating away and what do we have left to show for it? I say, a blown wad. The hype was so great that there was no way the fight could live up to it. However, hype aside, I thought UFC 114 was one of the better UFC's in a while. It was no UFC 113, but entertaining none-the-less. I also learned a few things:

1. Thanks to Cpt. Beau Ascot for his new tip on going to a UFC Bar with a cover charge: Bring your mom. Beau recently went to a bar in the OC with his mom and the bouncer said "Go on in, you guys clearly are not hear to see the fight." Hilarious.

2. My lovely wife allowed me to catch the fight while we were on a trip to wine country in Santa Maria. The bar I found, Stinky's in Santa Maria was the first that I had ever been to that took reservations. Since I was not in the know, I would have had to stand or put my wife outside in the cold to watch the fight. Tip to bar's that have this practice, don't charge me the same cover charge if I don't get a seat. That is retarded. Don't charge my wife who is the only reason I am allowed to be there. We were within an inch of leaving.

3. Don't EVER leave a fight that is dragging on and going nowhere. The Todd Duffee vs. Mike Russow fight was dragging on and on and on and on. I frustratingly decided to beat the in-between fight rush to the bathroom. While I was in full stream pissing, Duffee gets laid out by a one punch knockout from Russow. GOD DAMN IT! As a wise man once said in Dumb and Dumber, "I can't stop once I have started, it stings." I ran out of the bar dick in hand to catch the replays and luckily saw the replay. Still I was pissed. Oh and btw, that was "Knockout of the Night."

UFC 114 BETTING REVIEW:
Rampage vs. Rashad = I got it exactly right. Rashad by unanimous decision. 1 point.
Bisping vs. Miller = 1/2 right. Bisping by decision. 1/2 point.
Nogueira vs. Brilz = 1/2 right but should have been wrong. Nogueira by decision. 1/2 point (However, Brilz clearly won this fight. Judges are idiots).
Escudero vs. Lauzon = 1/2 right. Escudero by unanimous decision. 1/2 point.

Oh yah and btw, that is 4/4 for picking the winners which is all that really matters in MMA betting. 2.5 points out of a possible 4 for purposes of this blog. I wish I parlayed.

UFC HOT CHICK PHOTO OF THE WEEK:

Darwin: by Dana Carvey

2010-06-01T16:58:00.001-07:00

Hilarious combo of Sherlock Holmes does some awesome kickass action film:

Dana Carvey is "DARWIN" - watch more funny videos

Protect Health Insurance Companies

2010-06-01T16:50:00.001-07:00

Protect Insurance Companies PSA from Will Ferrell

Tribute to Blazin Hazen

2010-06-01T16:36:00.000-07:00

Here are the Blazin' Hazen videos. The original is first and the subsequent masterpieces follow.

TRUE ORIGINAL:

MASTERPIECES:
Average Homeboy - 18 years later. Unreal. Apparently he has the quality he wished for originally now with new technology. Horrible.

"In the Back" - The current Denny with a little Thug influence

Denny gets publicity - on VH1

LinkDump: Props to FilmDrunx on "First look at the villian in Thor"

2010-05-28T16:46:00.000-07:00

Make sure to read the entire thing. Genius way to bring in Michael Bay to describe a horrible idea.

"First look at the villain in Thor"

Kung Fu Bear

2010-05-28T16:36:00.001-07:00

This shit is hilarious:

Walking on Water

2010-05-28T16:33:00.000-07:00

Walking on Water. Crazy.

MMA: Weekly

2010-05-28T12:26:00.000-07:00

UFC 114
We are officially one hour away from weigh ins for UFC 114. Dana White estimates this UFC will do 850,000 PPV buys, a tie for the second most in UFC history behind UFC 100 (1.6M) and UFC 101 (850K). The UFC is also holding a fan Expo to coincide with the event in Vegas which will do a possible 100,000 attendees. This only increases the value of the UFC to Vegas as they expand ways to bring fans to the city longer during major events.

Tomorrow's fight is all over the map betting-wise. Depending on which bookie you talk to Evans and Jackson are both favorites. Therefore, pick you bookie wisely :). Here are my picks for the main card fights:

Rampage Jackson (-110) vs. Rashad Evans (-120)
There is only one way Jackson wins this, a lucky punch. He has extreme knockout power and is a huge light heavyweight. However, his last fights have shown he is not the same Rampage we saw in Pride. His heart is on making money, not on being champion. He has nothing left to prove. Evans on the other hand, hungry as hell. The competitive chip on his shoulder is palpable and he wants his rematch with Machida and his belt back. Look for Evans to win by unanimous decision in a fight that is surely going to the ground.

Michael Bisping (-170) vs. Dan Miller (+140)
Admittedly, I haven't seen too many of Dan Miller's fights, or rather, I don't remember them (I watch every fight). However, both guys are coming off of two losses in a row. Bisping is hungry, has been training hard, and I remember him. I am rooting for Bisping. Look for a submission victory in the second round. Guillotine.

Antonio Rogerio Nogueira (-675) vs. Jason Brilz (+475)
Don't bet on the underdog here. Brilz has zero chance of winning. "Little Nog" looks better than ever. He is super hungry, has amazing boxing and jiu jitsu, and his left hook is devastating. However, keep "Little Nog" in your back pocket for future title fights. He is always underestimated and someone you should never bet against. Look for a knockout here in round one. Left hook to the temple. Night Night.

Efrain Escudero (-500) vs. Dan Lauzon (+325)
I think Lauzon is a dwindling fighter. His training has reportedly been lacking and this is not the time to slack off. Despite the fact that Escudero lost his last fight, he is definitely an up and coming star. He just has that chip on his shoulder. He ain't gonna tap. Look for Escudero to submit Lauzon in Round One. I'll bet on a guillotine.

CEO SUMMIT
MMA is finally getting the recognition it deserves. Dana White recently attended an exclusive CEO Summit in Seattle and made waves. The fact that he was invited to a summit for 200 influential CEO's that included Sultans and the CEO of Microsoft and Amazon, means that MMA is really getting on the map. Dana regularly states that fighting is in the human DNA and his goal is to spread the sport to the world. With the power of the internet, MMA will continue to grow as more and more people gain access.

THE ULTIMATE FIGHTER 11: EPISODE 9 RECAP (** Spoiler Alert **)
I wish that my old blog was still live, because I predicted this episode before the season began. I predicted that Ortiz would chicken out. In this episode, Ortiz pulls out the "new" knowledge that he would need back surgery. He will be fired and Rich Franklin will step in and fight Liddell at UFC 115. An interesting fight and much more difficult for Liddell.

UFC HOT CHICK PICK OF THE WEEK:

Keenan Thompson impersonates Steve Harvey

2010-05-28T10:54:00.000-07:00

This sketch from SNL is hilarious. Keenan Thompson gets a lot of air time on SNL, but is rarely funny. Then he goes and does something like this.... and tooooootally redeems himself.

Hot Chick Friday?

2010-05-28T08:00:00.000-07:00

Megan Fox's possible replacement for Transformers 3. Rockin' body for sure, but the jury is still out on her face.

This is our current Miss USA, Rima Fakih. I'm not amused.

Now this is a hot chick in sports:

Allison Stokke is always a classic:

In honor of 24's passing:

10 Rules of 24

2010-05-27T11:47:00.001-07:00

10. If you suspect that the Middle Eastern family next door may be terrorists: They are.

"Who, us?"

9. Arming any kind of explosive device takes at least an hour, but can be done by any random engineer you kidnap.

8. You can drive literally ANYWHERE in 10-20 minutes.

7. If you’re good at your job, you can basically tell your boss, the President, and entire foreign countries to go fuck themselves.

6. A heroine addiction can be conquered in 24 hours.

5. It’s only ok to negotiate with terrorists when they ask you to shoot your boss in the back of the head.

"Wait, seriously? We are seriously doing this?"

4. If you’re screwing someone in the office, they are a terrorist mole. Shut it down.

3. For an elite anti-terrorist organization, CTU couldn’t make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich without screwing it up.

Pictured: Elite anti-terrorist agent.

2. You can elude the most sophisticated tracking equipment in the world simply by driving into a tunnel and switching cars. Seriously, this works EVERY TIME.

1. Never trust anyone. Your dad, brother, former boss, former lover, best friend, daughter’s boyfriend, fiancé, the President and/or the majority of the White House staff and will all turn out to be terrorists.

You little bitch...

Man-Advice; and will the A-Team be worse than G.I. Joe?

2010-05-27T08:30:00.000-07:00

Perhaps we could start a new feature here, a general advice column using the collective wisdom of the guys.

First one up, on Sunday, Rex Volcanoe all but begged the good Captain Beau Ascot, Drew Litre and myself to see the sure-to-be-wretched "A-Team" movie with him as a "favor."

Put aside the fact that the three of us do indeed owe him; Mr. Litre for forcing an epic drive across town in the middle of the night to return the keys of a certain perturbed gentleman, myself for my Exorcism-esque vomiting performance in Mr. Volcanoe's sparkling-white kitchen and the good Captain owes Mr. Volcanoe nothing less than his life what with Mr. Volcanoe being an avowed Ginger Hunter and all.

The question is this; do friends let friends see the "A-Team?"

Liam Neeson looks incredibly bored, almost as if he's just waiting for the check to clear.
Bradley Cooper's telling himself that after a few more blockbusters he can start doing serious films. Just look a Jim Carrey!
Rampage Jackson's auditioning for XXX 3: XXXX. Also, Mr. T was very available for this role.
And wait, since when is Derek Jeter's playing Murdock?

The End of an Era

2010-05-26T11:55:00.000-07:00

Top 5 uses for one of the decommissioned NASA shuttles:

1. Swimming Pool - What better way to recreate your favorite scenes from Apollo 13? Sure the electronics might not take kindly to the water, but some good old H20 is the cheapest and fastest way to simulate that zero-G environment.

2. Personal Jet - While most guys are cruising around in their single engine Cessna, you can be sailing the skies in a jet with enough thrust to reach atmospheric reentry speed. I dare you to find another corporate executive or media mogul who can one-up you on that.

3. Jet Ski - Never could something be more literal. A jet-powered jet ski. The underside of the shuttle is waterproof, so after adding some hydrofoils for a little control, the world’s oceans are your oyster. I’d personally use it for drug smuggling to earn a little extra cash after dropping $28.8M on the shuttle itself.

4. Casket Launcher - For those of us who find the terrestrial disposal of corpses to be a little mundane, there is always space, the final frontier. Granted, you’ll need a couple of extra booster rockets to reach orbit, but once you are up there, launching a payload full of dead people in metal tubes would be pretty sweet.

5. Paper Weight - Sure, doesn’t make much sense, but this what the shuttles are actually going to be turned into. Not only that, but they are going to need their own sealed environment that can control temperature, pressure and humidity. Good thing most business environments are going paperless, otherwise this would be a really silly idea.

The Biggest Winner

2010-05-26T08:11:00.000-07:00

How to bluff your way through an office convo today about last night's "Biggest Loser" finale:

"Can you believe how much weight that fat guy lost?"
"Unbelievable."
"And when that Mom started crying at the end? And then the audience started crying? I broke down a little too."
"Word."
"But that Jillian. Oooo, I can't stand her, so glad she's leaving. What a stone cold.....(whispers) bitch!"
"You're preaching to the choir honey!"
"Annnnyway, have you tried those new Subway breakfast sandwiches?"
"Delish!"

Seriously?

2010-05-25T12:44:00.001-07:00

Did people just not give a shit back in the day? There is no time in our nation's history when the general populace was too innocent to notice that this is inappropriate.

Celebrity Sightings

2010-05-24T13:31:00.000-07:00

1. White Russian spotted a familiar looking dude on the street while we circled the Hollywood Forever Cemetery in search of parking for the screening. That dude turned out to be Scott Caan.

2. I just saw Dog the Bounty Hunter and his wife (Mrs. Hunter?) walking toward the Promenade at lunch.

3. Rex Volcanoe saw Ioan "Mr. Fantastic" Gruffudd at the Whole Foods in Hollywood and may have cut in front of him and his wife to check out.

Hot Chick Friday

2010-05-21T12:25:00.000-07:00

Let's kick it off with Megan Fox from the premiere of Transformers 2... and because she speaks her mind and got fired from Transformers 3.

"I don't pay them for sex, I pay them to leave"

2010-05-20T09:00:00.000-07:00

I was listening to one of the zany morning radio shows on the way to work the other day, and the zany host brought up a great Charlie Sheen quote. Back during the Heidi Fliess scandal, Sheen was asked why a famous, rich guy like himself hires hookers. He replied, "I don't pay them for sex, I pay them to leave."

A Modern Account of the Mustache

2010-05-19T14:03:00.000-07:00

Transcribed: 5/18/1810

Gentlemen:

In my travels, I have come across a short moving picture concerning the mustache. It was written and directed by an associate of mine from university and stars a couple such associates, as well - all fine chaps if I do say so. I hope you enjoy.

Regards,
Cpt. Beau Ascot
Imperial Rebel Cruise Fleet

Between the Upper Lip and Nasal Passageway: A Modern Account of the Moustache from Ryan Green on Vimeo.

MMA: Weekly Link-dump and Dramarama

2010-05-19T13:11:00.000-07:00

The focus this week in MMA is on the upcoming UFC 114 event on May 29 in Las Vegas. The main event, Rampage Jackson vs. Rashad Evans is easily the most anticipated matchup in UFC history. The drama between the two can be traced back as far as 2004, but came to a head last year during The Ultimate Fighter 10 where they were pitted against each other as competing coaches. For those of you not following this matchup, I highly suggest watching the entire TUF 10 season. Rampage can say some pretty hilarious stuff. At the end of the season, the two coaches were scheduled to fight one another. That rivalry, combined with Kimbo Slice made for the highest ratings in TUF history and the highest ratings in the male demographic for that time slot on television. That being said, the drama hit an all-time high when Rampage announced that he would have to postpone the match-up for a starring role in the new A-Team movie in which he would play BA Baracus (A-Team Action Figures).

As soon as Rampage finished filming, the fight was announced as back on and the hatred between the two has been at an all-time high ever since. The upcoming fight should be a barn burner and has the potential to outsell UFC 100 in PPV buys. If there is any interest in MMA, the UFC, or just straight up drama, this should be the event of the year.

Here are some links to give you a flavor:
Recent UFC 114 Conference Call
Jump Froggy Jump!
Spit on Their Brain

Other MMA Highlights
Chael Sonnen wins Republican primary for Oregon's 37th District

Dana White confirms Rampage Rashad Winner to Get Title Shot

10 Rules of Lost

2010-05-19T11:00:00.001-07:00

10. Stay away from any kind of explosive. That shit is going to go off and kill somebody.

9. Sayid is not to be fucked with.

"Hmm, I could definitely stab someone in the dick with this."

8. If you ever need someone to loan you money, ask Jack. He is the biggest pushover known to man.

7. Never stray to far from Hurley. That dude apparently makes food appear out of thin air.

6. Invasive surgery can be performed anywhere, at any time, with a minimum of tools or antiseptic.

5. Never stray too far from Kate. You never know when she’ll have to strip down and swim somewhere.

"Are you sure that I'll drown if I swim in my clothes?"

4. For an expert con man, Sawyer is surprisingly easy to trick into doing your bidding.

3. Don’t ever trust Ben Linus to do anything for you. He could turn picking up dry cleaning into a way to betray and kill you.

2. Always be wary of an immortal wearing eyeliner.

1. Don’t trust what anyone tells you about anything. Literally every person on the island is completely full of shit and making it up as they go along.

"Ok, so the bird is the island?"

Moonshine: A new trend?

2010-05-19T09:34:00.001-07:00

Ze guys in ziss blog know how to write in good Aenglich. I am from Moskova, plez bey nize to me for my bad Aenglish, dah? Hiar es my lenk. Moonshine is selling like hotcakes. I am from Russia!

Moonshine!

Spaceba bitches!

White Russian

Poor Man-Pretty Boy

2010-05-18T18:44:00.000-07:00

After looking into The Thing to make sure I was thinking of the right movie, I came across an interesting comparison. Is Kurt Russel the poor man's Patrick Swayze, or is Patrick Swayze the pretty boy version of Kurt Russel?

We've got Russel in one of the great all time cop movies: Tango and Cash. Swayze certainly can't pull off Cash with the same level of grit and stoic FUBARness. Then there is the great duo of Escape from NY and Escape from LA, with Russel kicking ass and chewing bubble gum, but he's all out of bubble gum. Follow that up with Stargate and you've got a character who might not understand space travel, however he sure knows how to blow shit up. Add in Tombstone and you catch onto the trend that the only companionship Russel needs usually ends with the words caliber or gauge.

(Noted exception: Overboard. A classic of it's genre.)

Then there is Swayze. The consummate combination of ladies man and action star. He brings the Russian army to its knees in Red Dawn then takes care of the ladies in Dirty Dancing. Saves civilization in Steel Dawn then turns around and becomes a lady in To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar. Then we come to the heart of the Swayze lineup: Road House, Ghost and Point Break. Road House has it all: action (see esophagectomy), T&A (see Ms. Kelly Lynch), script (see Dalton's thoughts on pain), and acting (see The Swayze). Followed by everyone's favorite paranormal thriller, Ghost. Add in the heist movie good enough to call upon Swayze, everyone's favorite acting cardboard cutout, Dr. Cox, and the Hollywood star who first attained the status of"there isn't anything he can do that would surprise me".

At the end of the day, Russel seems to be the grittier man of action who prefers the company of a twelve gauge to that of the fairer sex. Poor Man's Swayze? Swayze balances the romance and action, yeah he can take his shirt off and make the ladies drool, but those muscles are for more than just looks. Pretty Boy to Russel's Man of Action? I think it's just a matter of what you are looking for.

Ron Swanson...

2010-05-18T09:32:00.001-07:00

Likes your style, Selleck...

Tom Selleck Loves You

2010-05-17T21:09:00.000-07:00

Welcome.